Two weeks.

In just two weeks, I’ll be on a plane headed to Tanzania. I haven’t made it well known that I’m going to Tanzania – partly because I’ve been focused on finishing my MSW program, but I think mostly it’s because I don’t want the “OMG, you’re going to Africa?!” reaction. I’m not going to save the world; I’m going to volunteer for one month. I hope I make a small difference for someone and I know that my four weeks there will matter. But I also know I’m not going to change the world in four weeks.

I got an email today telling me about my specific volunteer placement. I’m going to be at the Hope Center in Arusha, Tanzania. Hope Center is an orphanage that houses 13 double orphan (meaning they’ve lost both parents) children who have no related family or connections to other family. According to their website, about 30 more orphans come to the Hope Center on Saturdays – some of these orphans live with extended family. I’m still not sure exactly what I’ll be doing there, my email said a combination of teaching the children English, playing, cooking, and gardening. The Hope Center’s website says children meet for counseling and Bible teachings on Saturday – I’d love to get to be a part of those things too.

Everyone who does already know about me going to Africa keeps asking “How do you feel; Are you nervous/excited/anxious?” My answer: All of the above.

• I’m nervous to travel out of the country for the first time ever by myself.  
• I love flying, but I’m nervous about twenty-five hours travel time.
• I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to find the agency rep at the airport in Tanzania.   
• I’m scared I’m not going to like the food and have to survive on peanut butter and crackers for four weeks.
• I’m scared about the suffering and extreme poverty I’m going to see.  
• I’m excited to meet lots of other volunteers from all over the world.
• I’m excited to experience all that Tanzania has to offer, including a trip to Zanzibar and a safari in the Serengeti.
• But most of all, I’m scared I’m going to love it, that I’m going to fall in love with Tanzania and its people, the kids I’m volunteering with, and it’ll break my heart to leave in July.

You can check out the Hope Center’s website here: http://www.hopeorphanagearusha.org/

(Photo taken from Hope Center's website)

What I need.

I'm happiest when I'm with people I love...

I'm second happiest when I'm in a car or on an airplane because it either means I'm going somewhere new or I'm going back to somewhere I love. I was made to travel and explore new places. Seriously, that's what my soul was designed for. That's when I'm at peace. When everything's up in the air and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, being 35,000 feet above ground gives me time to clear my head and think things through. That's what I need now.

 I feel like I'm kinda in a slump right now because I want need to travel somewhere, and I don't have the time and/or money. I do not like being a big girl with responsibilities and bills to pay.

Guess I'll have to settle with hour long drives between Louisville-Lexington and Springfield-Louisville as the extent of my traveling for the next few months. Sigh...

V-Day

Its that time of year again...when fake romance and cheesy cliches vomit red, pink, and heart shaped chocolate all over store shelves.
I really don't understand Valentine's Day. Why do two people, who are dating or in a relationship or who just like each other, need a specific day set aside to buy each other cute greeting cards and chocolates? I don't get it. Shouldn't couples be showing each other that they care every day and not just on February 14th? 

I've almost always been single on V-Day. [One year I had a boyfriend who planned out a really cute horse drawn carriage ride through town. He got me a picture frame engraved with our names and a teddy bear(of course!). I had fun, but not any more fun than I would've had if it was just another date on another random day.] Most single girls sit at home and mope about being alone on V-Day, but I don't understand why. We're no more single on February 14th than we were on the 13th or will be on the 15th, so what's the big deal on that one day?? Go buy yourself some overpriced chocolate in a heart shaped box and be happy about it!!

Am I the only one who feels this way about V-Day??

Starting this over.

AGAIN.

So I'm a college graduate now and living in a new city. I moved 7 months ago for a job that I love. I don't love the hours, but I love what I get to do for people. If you know me well enough, you already know what this awesome "big girl" job is. Its awesome and you should be jealous you don't work there. This job has allowed me to meet SO many awesome people/families/parents/kids. And it teaches me every day that I need to be more thankful for what I've already been given. We all should be. Even if you don't have much, it can all be taken away in a second.
In the past 4 months, I've met two of the strongest 5 year olds. Seriously, I thought I was a strong person(don't get me wrong, I still am). But what I've been through is nothing compared to the hurdles placed in front of these 2 kids. Yet they both bear them with smiles. Every Day. One's been in a wheelchair since he was 2. C is currently undergoing physical therapy to hopefully get him walking again. P has an inoperable brain tumor. The doctors said by this point in her chemo/radiation, she'd be tired all the time, lethargic, not wanting to run or play. But P's the exact opposite. P still chooses to take stairs over the elevator and can outrun the parents like nobody's business. P would probably also win the hide and seek gold medal, if it existed. These two kids inspire me every day. I want to be like P and C when I grow up.

love my life & thankful for the people in it.

Given that I haven't blogged in like 6 months, I'm gonna give this another shot...

Thanksgiving was the first real holiday that the Mattinglys have had to celebrate without Granny and Papa. They both passed away this summer. 15 days apart. I thought about it alot Wednesday night, and I've realized that this year, I'm most thankful for Granny and Papa's example of true love. They showed us all what it was. They gave us the meaning for it. I think if you were to look in the dictionary under "true love" my Granny and Papa Mattingly's picture would be there. Do you get it? They were 100% in love. My granny was papa's whole world. So much that when she passed away on June 5th, he felt that he didn't have a reason to be here anymore. He was miserable without her, truly brokenhearted. He got pneumonia the next week, spent a few days in the hospital, & came home to spend his last father's day with his kids, grandkids, & great grandkids. Spending the night camped out in my aunt's living room with my family, all of us surrounding Papa's hospital bed. That's a memory I'll never forget. He passed away 2 days later, June 20th.

This post is getting sad & that's not what I meant for it to be. So I'm wrapping it up now. I just wanted to say to my Granny and Papa Mattingly, who are in Heaven now looking down on all of us, I love you. I'm thankful for my 21 years with you. I'm thankful that you two were SO in love. Because of you guys, I want your kind of true love. I want a spouse that my love is so strong for that I can't imagine living without him. Because of my Granny and Papa. Love you.